No gym this morning and very strange that I find myself sitting at the computer writing this. It’s 20 years exactly since I last saw Jenny. That was at 7.45 on 31 August 1996, a Saturday morning. I’d already had breakfast and was about to leave to catch my train. Jenny had got up – early for her for a Saturday – to say goodbye and was sitting in her wheelchair. I probably made her a cup of tea. I don’t remember much about the goodbye but expected I’d be seeing her at Christmas, if not before – maybe even for our birthday in November.
A most difficult day. Probably the most difficult day in years – flitting between irritability and tearfulness all day but having to hide it from everyone. I looked up the anniversary of Jenny’s death – 15 October – and saw that it falls on a Saturday this year. What a relief. I usually prefer the 15 October to be buried in a week day at work, but after today I think a bit of solitude is called for.